Let's Get Random

Definitely expect a whole lot of random thoughts on this entry. I haven't written much lately but i've also been working an insane amount of overtime and at night, i'm just super exhausted. And to warn you...this will be random.

Hebrews 8:9-11

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9 Not like the covenant that I made with their fathers on the day when I took them by the hand to bring them out of the land of Egypt.For they did not continue in my covenant, and so I showed no concern for them, declares the Lord. 10 For this is the covenant that I will make with the house of Israel after those days, declares the Lord:I will put my laws into their minds, and write them on their hearts,and I will be their God, and they shall be my people. 11 And they shall not teach, each one his neighbor and each one his brother, saying, 'Know the Lord,'for they shall all know me, from the least of them to the greatest.

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I really, really like this passage of scripture. Sometimes we feel like once a new believer or a non-believer comes to the church they have to start immediately living just as we do. But I think if we simply love and reach out to those people, God will take care of the rest. He will write His laws on their heart. We have do not have the ability to change the hearts of people. Too many times we force change upon them and in the end, it's not true change because it was on our time and not God's.

I Guess I Need to be More Careful

Apparently there is a consensus among girls that I am a huge flirt. I remember in high school I was probably one of the shyest and to myself guys. Even after I graduated I was still like that to a certain extent. I won't name names because of flack I would catch, but I met a certain person that taught me how to JUST BE MYSELF. I know i'm not perfect at this and am trying to improve daily but I want to be who I am all the time and not be ashamed of that. I think a lot of people would call me random, at times REALLY goofy and even sometimes like I am seemingly on crack! ha! I just want to be myself around people, including girls. Now if that comes across as flirting I guess that's the way it's gonna be. But I will pledge to keep an eye on myself and make sure I don't cross a line that some people think I am crossing.

Proud

So i'm super proud of Courtney. I know we broke up and all but I still wish the best for her. She has a group of 4 year old boys that she leads for Awana's. I think she always had faith that she'd get plugged into something eventually and now it's happened (all in God's perfect timing). It's really cool to hear stories about her going to elementary schools for her classes at A & M. It's not student teaching but something like that. Pray for her. God's really working.

Salvation

The past few months I started realizing my walk wasn't that of a follower of Jesus. If I really was, i'd be getting off my butt and doing something and I feel like that is starting to happen. Which leads me to wonder...did I receive some sort of regeneration or salvation in the past few months? I feel a radical change in me and it makes me wonder. Either way...i'm going to get baptized soon. Dal mentioned it Sunday morning and I know it's super important that I get it done.

Homeless

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Matthew 25:31-46

31 “But when the Son of Man[d] comes in his glory, and all the angels with him, then he will sit upon his glorious throne. 32 All the nations[e] will be gathered in his presence, and he will separate the people as a shepherd separates the sheep from the goats. 33 He will place the sheep at his right hand and the goats at his left.
34 “Then the King will say to those on his right, ‘Come, you who are blessed by my Father, inherit the Kingdom prepared for you from the creation of the world. 35 For I was hungry, and you fed me. I was thirsty, and you gave me a drink. I was a stranger, and you invited me into your home. 36 I was naked, and you gave me clothing. I was sick, and you cared for me. I was in prison, and you visited me.’
37 “Then these righteous ones will reply, ‘Lord, when did we ever see you hungry and feed you? Or thirsty and give you something to drink? 38 Or a stranger and show you hospitality? Or naked and give you clothing? 39 When did we ever see you sick or in prison and visit you?’
40 “And the King will say, ‘I tell you the truth, when you did it to one of the least of these my brothers and sisters,[f] you were doing it to me!’
41 “Then the King will turn to those on the left and say, ‘Away with you, you cursed ones, into the eternal fire prepared for the devil and his demons.[g] 42 For I was hungry, and you didn’t feed me. I was thirsty, and you didn’t give me a drink. 43 I was a stranger, and you didn’t invite me into your home. I was naked, and you didn’t give me clothing. I was sick and in prison, and you didn’t visit me.’
44 “Then they will reply, ‘Lord, when did we ever see you hungry or thirsty or a stranger or naked or sick or in prison, and not help you?’
45 “And he will answer, ‘I tell you the truth, when you refused to help the least of these my brothers and sisters, you were refusing to help me.’
46 “And they will go away into eternal punishment, but the righteous will go into eternal life.”

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Now correct me if i'm out of context but it seems like what we do for those who are in need, we are doing for Jesus. Now what if we say refuse to help them because of a biased we have against them? For instance, the idea that a homeless person doesn't want to help himself so we won't help them or the idea of "do not cast your pearls before swine". So does that mean that we are telling Jesus "You don't deserve my pearls". What are our pearls? Money? Stuff that we've bought for ourselves? When did those things become our treasure? Somehow we've forgotten those things were blessings from God. They are NOT ours.

Prayer Request

Pray for Phillip and Andrea Brewer. They just had a little boy and we got to see them at church Sunday morning. I got to talk to Phillip after church and the next day on the phone for about 30 minutes. Amazing guy. No matter what....I really like Phillip. And if you try to add any "but's" to that...consider yourself adding to the cross. Thank you Lord for the cross. Thank you for your Grace.

Hypocrite

I really have to find a good balance in proclaiming the Gospel and humbleness in the fact I don't have everything figured out and often reach back with my gangly arms for the same sin over and over again. I don't want to be considered a hypocrite. I need to learn how to live without deservingly earning that label. Lord please save me from MYSELF.

Depression

I was really glad the other day when Dal admitted his struggle with depression. In the past few years it's something I have fought week after week. The ups and downs and the low points that seem unbearable. It's nice to know you're not alone. Big time props to Dal on this one.

Yikes!

I know...i'm really behind on this blogging gig but I promise i'll get everyone up to date soon. There's so much we have to catch up on.

Life has improved greatly over the past week and a half or so. I feel like i've broken the chains and my soul is no longer haunted. I keep looking back over my shoulder...waiting for it to creep back up but i'm starting to become more and more convinced that this is it. No more pain and no more worry. No more frustration and no more regret. Maybe you don't get it....but it's not for you to figure out. Just know i'm NOT insane. Ha.

The Mezzanine Floor

I'm on the mezzanine floor,
Never been here before no no
It's a lonely place,
But a house full of grace

I'm at this bolted door,
but I'm coming through without permission
If I go they say I'm wrong,
If I stay there'll be no song



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The mezzanine floor is a tough place to find yourself.

Lord, I want to be where YOU are. I'm tired of always getting caught in the middle...

Tough Day

Beat Down
You ever have one of those days when everything from the past, present and future seems to just flat out beat you down?

Struggling to forget mistakes you made and times you were wronged in the past?

Is every day a battle to block out images and thoughts you want to let go of?

Are you haunted by thoughts of not being able to start over again?



I know it seems like, since I am a worship leader and have gone to church my whole life, that I should be some sort of a superhuman who never struggles. But I do and today was one of those days.

This Angers Me
I just want to make it clear that I am NOT an advocate of buying alcohol for under age friends OR family. Maybe i'm not always honest about it but as much as I think I can blow it off, hearing about this angers me. There's probably a million different angles you could take on whether drinking in general is right or wrong. I don't believe having a drink is wrong but I choose to refrain from drinking alcohol. It has become such a different monster than it was back in the days of Jesus. All I see is hurt, anger, despair, abuse and death come from alcohol. I hate hearing about the college kid who drowned in his own vomit, the drunk who stabbed his wife to death and the car load of teenagers killed by a drunk driver. I've seen it start so innocent and end so tragically. I've challenged myself to not force my view on anyone else, a mistake that I have made in the past. It's my choice to stay away from alcohol. But I won't back down from saying that buying for under age drinkers is tragic in itself.

I'm Feeling Progress

Innovating Our Worship
I think I decided that I want to throw out worship that I've been playing for 2-3 years or longer. There might be a selected few that will make the cut but for the most part songs like 'Be Glorified'...'Every Move I Make'...'Draw Me Close'...'You Are My King' will be out of the mix. I really think it's time for a fresh approach. I see myself, with the help of Woody, starting to write new songs for worship and constantly learning new songs. And when we write new songs, I don't even think we need to look to the Psalms. When David wrote Psalms he didn't copy words from a book, he took his life experiences and the things the Lord had taught him through that as an inspiration. Maybe some people would be offended that I wouldn't want to play hymns or classic, well written worship songs. But I think if I felt like I was bound by an obligation to perform those songs just because of their greatness, I would be worshipping the shadow instead of worshipping God for who He really is. I really believe we always have to be innovating and always be moving forward and I truly believe we can't always be reaching for the past.

Ecclesiastes 7:10 says:
Say not, "Why were the former days better than these?" For it is not from wisdom that you ask this.

We have to escape the 'good 'ol day' syndrome. Like Dal said today, God is calling us to move forward into the future. He's not going to get behind us and try to push us into new ideas and thinking outside the box. He'll let us live in the past if we want but I don't think that's his plan for our lives. Maybe you think, "Dang, how many songs you planning to learn or write? A thousand? You'll surely wear out the new songs just as quick as the classic ones". Maybe therein lies the problem...why do songs get wore out so quickly?

Big Heart
Saturday morning, a group of us went downtown to be a part of Big Heart Ministries. As far as I know a guy by the name of David Cote heads up this ministry. I was very impressed by what a tight ship he runs. You can just tell that his heart is in it and he longs to reach out and be with these people. I've been working with the homeless lately and it seems like everytime I go, i'm the one who gets blessed. While David was leading worship, it just felt so perfect worshipping together with all the homeless people. I couldn't help but clap, sing my heart out and smile as big as I possibly could. These people had nothing and yet they were worshipping God for who He was. I saw more joy on Saturday morning than I see some Sunday mornings leading worship and supposedly we are the blessed.

What's Next?
It's going to be a while until I carry out another trip downtown independently to feed the homeless. Right now my schedule dates for reaching out to the homeless are:

October 27
November 3
November 20-24
December 1

As the weather gets colder I might put out a request to the members of our church to donate blankets. I cringe when I think I have up to 3 different blankets on or around my bed during the winter and some people on the streets have none.

I'm also planning an outreach event on November 4. That date was on the calendar for the Whatathon but since we were denied that opportunity by their Director of Marketing i've been forced to think up a new idea. The community that surrounds our church is the second target of the outreach ministry. If all goes as planned, we'll buy 75-100 of the $5 coupon booklets for McDonalds and on the morning of Nov 4 be a blessing to the community by handing these out to people as the walk into the restaurant. It's the simplest way we can buy unsuspecting members of our community breakfast.

Also this week i'm going to propose that we begin setting aside a time in the service to welcome visitors and encourage them to fill out a visitor card and visit the information desk after the service. It's feels weird to even have to say that. I tried to get some buzz going about that issue/subject about 3-4 weeks ago but apparently the issue has to be forced. Lord, give me patience.