Skeptical

It seems the more I learn the more skeptical I become. I start questioning how things are done at church. Why we have to go to church at a certain time. Why church is confined to a building. But the most recent one has been how we approach salvation. Some would always say that if you were questioning your salvation it was just the devil trying to cast doubts in your direction. Now i'm starting to think that I should question my salvation and doing that is in everyone's best interest. If we really believe in Christ and have received him into our heart, why aren't we doing that things He has commanded us to do? I know this approaches the borderline of works-based salvation but think about it! Does salvation include not only believing but doing? I know this is a touchy subject but it's something that has really got me wondering...

Wednesday night we headed over to Fort Worth to lead worship at Northwest High School w/Trey and I was really wondering about certain evangelical approaches and presentations of salvation. Does salvation really occur when we scare youth with hell or stories of kids dying? Please don't get me wrong...I think the event was wonderful. 500 kids getting together to attend an event hosted by one of the most humble and kind hearted guys I know (Andrew Vandergriff). By the way, check out their website. He is the youth pastor of Aurora Baptist Church:
http://thesourceabc.org/

It really made me understand how important discipleship is. I mean you can save a kid from hell if that's what you think you are doing (which I questioned above) but where is the transformation of the heart and how much time and effort do we put into that?

Anyway, a note on that youth rally or whatever you want to call it. I'm pretty sure that's one of the biggest crowds i've ever 'performed' for. There was a total of in between 500-600 youth and adults. I definitely wasn't paralyzed with fear and didn't really have any difficulty singing. I remember back in high school I used to be so terrified of getting in front of the class and speaking. I literally almost would become paralyzed and feel like my mouth wouldn't open all the way...I bet it was pretty hilarious to watch me! Anyways, I just feel the Lord working in my life because I don't feel that way like I once did. It's like God has given me a voice and I know for sure it's 100% His doing. Even though Wednesday night we didn't have time to sound check or run through any of the songs I still felt confident and really didn't feel nervous or paralyzed with fear. It's like if you would have known me and how I reacted to being in front of a crowd and speaking 7 years ago compared to now...you'd be amazed. This has nothing to do about trying to brag or anything it's just crazy thinking about things like this.

Tomorrow Brad and I are going to test drive an outreach idea. It's nothing original or anything but it's something we haven't done for a long time (if Andy even did back in the day). I didn't know this until last week but apparently the bus stops and picks up kids right in front of the church. So we're gonna set up a table in front of the church and give away free donuts. It'll be a chance to start and develop relationships with youth (and maybe even some adults) who live in our community surrounding the church. My thought process is that if we start to do little things with much love, we'll really start to have an effect on the community around us.

I have to be brutally honest. I'm not against international missions and going to help out in other countries but if we can't be missionaries to our own community how can we travel thousands of miles to other countries and do mission work. I knew that when the India trip was being planned God was really speaking to me and advising me to save my money and that he had some big plans in the community around our church. I'm starting to understand what He was saying. Before I can love someone thousands of miles away I have to learn how to love my neighbor and I think when God commanded that He was speaking about the community that we live in.