What Could Be Better

Possibly My Favorite Song I've Written

I was laying in my bed thinking about some stuff. A song I wrote a little over a year ago. It has no name but here are some of the lyrics:

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The cool crisp air ignites a fire in my soul
And memories of you on that cold December night

The moon shines brighter when I think of everything
You mean to me my love

You're holding me while i'm kissing you
This sweet sensation fills the air we breathe
and I can barely sing

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It's funny how the most perfect of nights are complimented with the most beautiful stars and the brightest moon.

A Poem

While looking for the lyrics to the previous song, I found this poem that I can't really remember if I wrote or not. But i really like it. The file I found it in was labeled November 21 of 2005.
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My pillow.

Enveloping me in your soft folds of comfort.

Eyes closed, your gentle caress soothes my concerns
and carries my thoughts to a bed of pure contentment.

Completely satisfied, I lay in your sweet embrace,
longing to remain indefinitely.

This is love.

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Should I Be This Honest?

The last five months have been very difficult for me. You have hopes and dreams of the years to come and then everything changes in a minute and you're left blindly finding your way. What's even more upsetting is when you're hopes and dreams are perceived as lies. What do you do when someone takes what you hold dear and to be true and throws them to the ground shattering them in a million pieces? There is no worse feeling on earth. Depressed doesn't even begin to explain what my heart has felt the last five months of my life and a lot of people probably haven't even noticed it. I am the King of faking how I feel. Sometimes I don't even have to fake it. I'll be hangin out with some of my best friends and enjoy two hours of hilarious laughter and heaven on earth. But the pain of circumstance always overshadows my life no matter how well things might go over a 1-2 day time span. I'm at a point of my life where I am making a lot of money and am paying off the majority of my bills. In a few months i'll be debt free besides my car. Who can say that? But despite how amazing that is...it gets overshadowed. It's mind boggling just thinking about how one negative circumstance can cancel out everything I have going for me in my life right now. For now I just have to wait out these feelings. It's probably the worst i've felt all my life. Considering the way I feel right now, I must be careful how I invest myself emotionally. I really need to regroup and refocus.

How Much Does This Suck?

Lately i've been working really long hours. This week I will work a total of 65 hours and had to work last Saturday and will have to work the next two Saturdays. Anyways, my whole point to all this is i've had no time to go shop! (besides going to buy my new TV on New Years Day) What drives me even more crazy is I can pretty much shop for free. I have gift cards to: Hollister (I just had to look at my jacket to check the spelling on that...ha), Journeys, Sharper Image, Northpark, Old Navy and Wal-Mart (which i'll probably use for gas). I'm pretty patient though...I guess I can wait.

Cool Pictures

I was looking through my pictures from over the years tryin to find a good one of my lowered S-10 I used to have. That's right...I was a cruiser. Anyways I found a picture of me and David leading worship for the youth one wednesday night. He was 17 and I was 18. There's not telling how much I sucked at singing back then! When I was 15 I decided I wanted to play guitar and sing. It took a long time for me to eventually become halfway decent at both. Hopefully i'm improving by the day. Those were the days. David and I haven't hung out in quite a while now...miss that guy.